Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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