i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
