I don't think brook has ever known best
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
did you just send me my own nude
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
