Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
barbara walters just said penis...
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
We don't watch enough power rangers
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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