porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
