If i come over, it means nothing
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
