Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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