i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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