I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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