I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
