who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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