All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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