halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
