hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
