Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
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