very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
