Apparently you make a good broom.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
