O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
