he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
