Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
