bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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