i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
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