when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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