I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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