First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
