so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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