I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
