Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
