At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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