Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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