how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
