Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
