No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You can't special order awesome
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
