hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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