The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
