Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i just google imaged poop.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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