and next time when you feel me up, do it right
please come you make the beer taste better
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
