It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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