Kiss
Puke
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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