i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
