no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
