We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
