His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
