The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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