What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
