my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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