I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
