A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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