Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
