Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
